can't you see how much it hurts?
yeah, i forgot, you don't.
can't you see how much i'm trying?
no, of course you don't

i am tired of crying because of you.
i am tired of thinking how it might be,
if everything went the way we promised years ago
i am tired of everything.
i really am.


Cerita Kedai Kopi


there are so many things on my mind i wanna write about
but since i have just a little time now
so i'll write what i did today
this is basically a journal of my life
so, bear with it :)

anyway, early morning, i woke up,
buat bekal untuk adik adik
comel tak dapat kakak macam ni?
walaupun cuma benjo
today is their first day of exam
last night, i went like " dulu kakak exam, mama selalu buatkan bekal"
So, harini buatkanlah bekal

then, in the afternoon,
teringat pulak, FIFI ade cerita how to make a caramel pudding
grabbed my phone and texted her " Fi, nak resipi"
then she replied " Ok, dah, dalam inbox facebook"

Here is the recipe :)
bahan bahan:

-10 biji telur
-1 cawan gula (cawan standard utk minum petang; jangan penuh
sangat gula tu)
-1 tin susu cair
-1 sudu esen vanila (sudu teh kecil)

*semua tuu, blended.

1) mula mula, masukkan 3 sudu gula dalam loyang. guna loyang medium size. jangan guna yang besar nanti puding jadi nipis.

2) panaskan loyang tu atas api.sampai jadi cair & nampak kekuning kuningan. jangan sampai jadi hitam, nanti dia rasa pahit.

3) lepas tu, masukkan bahan bahan yang blended tadi kedalam loyang tadi.

4) dah siap tu, masukkan dalam kukusan.
after setengah jam dah siap. da boleh makan.

selamat mencuba. (^_^)

sangat comel siap ada selamat mencuba (^_^)
thank you dear :)

and i tried, and Alhamdulillah, it went fine
pahit sikit but considering my first time
acilaaa kan?

Siap warn kat ayah awal awal
" ayah rasa tau, tapi tak boleh complaint banyak banyak , just tell me kalau tak sedap"
then berdebar debar gila tengok ayah take his first bite
his reaction?
"oklah" (then he finished the whole piece :) )

My youngest sister yang gila caramel pun like it
and i've been serving puding caramel along with tea to everyone
and watch everyone's face when they take their first bite
it was such a pleasure

I know my cooking skills are wayyyy behind mum
but i'll try to catch up in these 4 months

.ending this post now.

p/s : will try to upload pics later because the line is lembab macam siput lah :P


Lazy Me

Few of these days
my biological clock goes hay wired

my daily life is inspired by the one and only BRUNO MARS

Lyrics! :)
(credit to Metro Lyrics for the lyrics and YouTube for the official video)

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't

I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man

Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all, nothing at all

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out
This is great
(Oh my god, this is great)

Yeah, I might mess around
And get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait

Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

I know everyone is EXTREMELY happy we got 4 months holiday
which is like, WOW! for us
it gets me thinking
if I continue my studies right away after SPM
and does not has this 4 months holiday
probably I can be a doctor at the age of 23
well well
what to do?

and the things about long holidays are
 but you never gonna actually do it
sebab each time pun, esok esok, kan?
which leads you to working part time
or just stay home and does not go out(like ME!)
YOU TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT, which is like ,
 "HELLO, kau ada kat rumah takkan taknak makan sedap sedap?"

and you'll end up
and lots more
(usually it is negative changes)

just my opinion, not everyone will fall to this category

p/s : Selamat Hari Guru to cikgu-cikgu Tadika Petronas, Sekolah Kebangsaan Rantau Petronas, Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Rantau Petronas, MRSM Kuala Klawang, MRSM Balik Pulau, UiTM Shah Alam and to all my dear friends, sebab kalau cikgu cikgu ajar things I need to know to be a better person, academically and sahsiah, my friends taught me how to live. AND most importantly, to MAMA, for being the one teacher who sticks with me 24:7 since I am 0 years old. 


a trip to remember

Date : 11 May 2011
Place : Malacca , World Heritage City
Cool People: Me, Fifi, Zati,Amie

After karaoke sessions, masing masing penat and terus rehatkan diri for another long day
we were SO excited for this
because of few reasons
1) Post Pro Exam Syndrome
2) Fifi and Zati have never been there

For so long, I've been thinking of going somewhere meaningful for both of them
Dulu dulu plan nak pergi Genting Highlands but with uncertain weathers and financial issues
Terpaksa bertangguh.LAGI.
*tapi promise, next semester pergi*
The thing is, every year ada plan to go somewhere but then cancel at last minutes
Sebab parents approval, and budget limitation and all
but this year around, i'm like, jom jelah have a trip
tak kisah cukup orang ke tak , we just go
so, at the end of the day, pergi bertiga + our own driver of the day,  Amie ;D

we woke up like super early , 5.20 a.m. to prepare some food
that are nuggets and tuna sandwiches
and at 7.30 a.m.

Upon reaching Malacca, 
excited gila everyone
yelah, zati and fifi baru first time whilst me and Amie dah bertahun tahun tak pergi kot
so, suka hati dengar cakap gps
400 meter, 300 meter, 200 meter pusing kiri
TAK JUMPA A FAMOSA okaaaayyyyyy? :(
noob sangat!
dah pusing Stadhuys 2 kali pun tak nampak A Famosa
Nasib baik jumpa, but then, we were not a great storyteller
Therefore, tak dapek nak cito sejarah sejarah bangunan tu kat deme

after that, terus take 2 beca (RM40/hour)
then, trip lepas ambil beca sangatlah berinformasi sebab pakcik beca tu suka bercerita
so, kitorang takdelah roam around tanpa tahu a bit of history :)

Then, after LUNCH
we went to museum samudera
which is very comfortable as it has air conditioner
we like it soooo much!

We shop till we drop then
Cannot think of anything worth to buy for my siblings
so, just amek belacan bakar untuk mama and baju+seluar pendek untuk neenee
hee :)

Then, we went to the famous Menara Taming Sari
It's like RM20 for a 7 minutes journey
it goes up 80metre
and went down again
Nasib Baik for MyKad dapat 50% off
tu pun rasa agak baloi tak baloi lah jugak

We ended our trip by makan makan dekat Crystal Bay, Alai
Medan Ikan Bakar
Seriously worth it sebab semua sekali RM64
and guess what we ate?
Ikan Siakap 3 Rasa, Kerang Bakar, Sotong Goreng Tepung and Ikan Pari Bakar
its more than enough for 4 person
and it costs only RM64

Singgah kejap rumah  Amie on the way back sebab nak hantar cencalok for his family
segan gile i went out dengan sebelah crocs, sebelah selipar toilet
sangat tah pape
(apalah pergi rumah orang pakai kasut sebelah lain sebelah lain..dem!)
then kitorang bertiga hold our giggles sampai masuk kereta then ketawa kuat kuat

Then , journey back to Shah Alam
and I am back at Bukit Antarabangsa the very next day

p/s : Encik Amie dah jadi salah seorang geng berjalan..jadilah trio +1 bak kata Fifi. Haha. =D Thank You

Cubaan pose macam Fatin Liyana :)


kara-okay! :)

Date : 10th May 2011
Place : Music Box Quality Hotel
Post-examination Syndrome
This syndrome leads to anxiety to waste money and to do everything
In short notice
Not really short notice since we've been planning it during the examination week
Anyways, first thing first
We went to Quality Hotel to go the Music Box Karaoke on 25th floor
(and the lift only leads us to 24th floor)
Since many of people said that its more or less similar to Red Box
So, we were eager to try it out
And plus, malas nak jalan jauh jauh pergi Sunway for Red Box
Price : RM 8/2 hour (RM 5/hour) + RM 5 tidbits(wajib bayar) + 16% tax
So, for 3 hours, we spent RM51 in total
Sunway Red Box
11 a.m - 2 p.m
Price (student card) : RM 9 ++ with 2 drinks
Price(without student card) : RM12++(incl lunch set)
no tidbits wajib bayar
Check it out at : http://www.redbox.com.my/redbox/eng/com_outlet_sun.asp
the last time we went, its like rm40 ,i think
i highly recommend to go to Sunway Red Box
due to
more songs choices
more worth it
but then, again, this is my personal opinion
any other people will have different opinion :)
but when you have the greatest friends along with you
it doesn't matter where you go
you still had fun

tiga budak chomels :)

antara lagu :p

the start of the day :)

okay,inappropriate pose 

music box, quality hotel, shah alam

lif hotel :p

friends : Nurul Afifi :)Nur Izzati :)


It Begins With You 2011

hari ni sangat rajin
update sampai 3 post sehari
terlebih lebih pula rajinnya

so, this is about 
"It Begins With You 2011"
Place: Berjaya Times Square, KL
Date: 7th of May 2011

dengar pun dah takut kan?
macam dah letak dalam kepala
"mesti orang ni hisap dadah" or "tak percaya dia ni gay"
or "memang, dah nampak dah ciri ciri dia ni memang social, maen dengan ramai orang agaknya"
 itu di belakang mereka
di hadapan pula
"kau duduk jauh jauh, nanti tak pasal pasal aku berjangkit"
"eh, taknak share makanan lah, air liur kau tu ade kuman.bahaya"
"awak ni , tak sangka saya buat perkara perkara begitu sampai sakit"
this is what we call STIGMA , people!

do you really know how HIV/AIDS are transmitted?
by blood to blood( darah ke darah)
by sexual intercourse ( hubungan kelamin, M&F, M&M and F&F )
and mama to baby

like seriously, hang ada share jarum ka dengan dia?
hang ada pi gatai gatai nak wat hubungan kelamin ka dengan dia?
bila hang pegang tangan dia, tangan dia ngan hang tengah berdarah ka?
tak kannn?
dah tu, awat hang takut sangat?

kalau saya bawak korang ke shopping mall
and ask you to find 10 people with HIV/AIDS tanpa bertanya
can you do that?
cause they ain't any different than us
so, don't think negatively towards them
and importantly, don't judge
there's a story behind each Ahmad, Abu and Kiah
there might be one also behind the person living with HIV/AIDS
so, tak perlulah kita yang judge mereka

and to lead the un-stigma-tizing everyone, haruslah para doktor
sebab bila seseorang patient datang kepada doktor
and the doctor is being nice
50% of the disease have been cured
cuba bayangkan if a man who has HIV/AIDS
or any other disease pun
dipandang slack oleh the attending doctor
what would they feel?

therefore, to initiate this , MSD, MAC and MaSHM 
have organised such a wonderful event
"It Begins With You 2011"
program ni lagi fokus kat bakal bakal doktor
sebab only doctor can make the change

winnie K performs

zati, ben and fifi

again, sorry for the image quality

selain Winnie K, Dayang Nurfaizah juga perform cuma dia balik awal, i think :)
both of them are supportive towards HIV/AIDS campaign

tu je for the day
hope so.

p/s: cannot wait for rabu :)


after hard work of membanting tulang dan segala muscles and strain ourselves hard gila for the exams.
such as:
hari hari tidur pukul 4 pagi
hari hari tidur tak tenang
rasa nak nangis tengok notes banyak lagi tak baca
ada kawan kat facebook asyik buat countdown
rasa tense sampai tengok muka kawan rasa nak tumbuk*exaggerate*

supposedly, kitorang cuti sampai 12 SEPTEMBER!!
tapi being dekan,
he is like " dari cuti membazir masa , baik kita adakan aktiviti selepas elektif, supaya the students learned something valuable"
so, dengan ini saya isytiharkan, saya betul betul cuti, from 1 july*hopefully* to 12 september..any job openings anyone?

okay back to the tajuk of this entry
after the big exam
me and my friends
Fifi and Izzati 
pun pergi lepak cafe menara SAAS tu
since we all ex-asasi student, so tempat tu menggamit sejuta rasa*cheh*
then, after that, terus pergi JUSCO Bukit Tinggi
Konon konon pergi sana sebab ade J Card Sale and nak tengok movie tapi last last tak shopping pun
tengok movie je
*mama, ayah, you should be proud of me :)*
and we watched Fast 5
pembetulan : bukan we, cuma fifi and zati sebab i've fallen asleep despite the loud sounds and ke-best-an cerita tu.
see how tired am i? :p
 no pictures taken sebab takde camera*sobs*

then malam tu, we spent rm25 on steamboat dekat Tupai Tupai Seksyen 13 , Shah Alam
berbaloi baloi rasanya
and even berbaloi daripada Flaming Steamboat sebelah Sunway tu
Personal Opinion lah
1. Harga 
Harga dia nett rm25, unlike flaming, rm 23.80 + charge jadi rm25 jugak
2. Variety
 tak sebanyak Flaming, i think, tapi the varieties are much nicer, ade spaghetti, nasi goreng, mushroom soup. and lots of other foods.
3. Udang 
 since i am an udang-holic, so udang memainkan satu aspek penting dalam pemilihan ini. Di Tupai-Tupai , ianya lebih besar dan segar.Yum!*telan air liur*
4. Tomyam. 
Oh, ini menarek sebab dia ade 3 types of choices, sup biasa, sup kelapa and tomyam..and boleh pilih 2, so pilih sup kelapa*bak kata fifi, tomyam dalam buah kelapa* :p and tomyam. Ternyata tomyam lebih pekat, compared to flaming and sedap untuk hirup hirup. And soup kelapa is not bad either. Nice one.
5. Tempat 
 sooo dekat dengan UiTM, which is a bonus! and cleaner too. Naseb tak baek masa kat Flaming dapat duduk sebelah longkang so, tak selesa sangat. Tapi kalau dekat tupai tupai, tempat dia cantik, very comfortable, even yang open air punya tempat. 
6. Masa.
 I don't know about any of you tapi haritu masa makan Flaming on weekend, dia bagi limit 2 jam. But masa kitorang pergi tupai tupai hari Jumaat haritu, limitless, dari jam 6-11. The best part? Surau disediakan. tapi masa tu kitorang tak tahu, so kitorang start pukul 8 jugaklah.

Therefore, Tupai Tupai is a better choice.
these are the pics yang sempat ditangkap by me
so takde gambar saya

ni muka keghairahan nak makan :P

sementara menanti waktu makan

nanti update lagi gambar
sebab ade few yang belum blue tooth

p/s: maaf , kualiti gambar tak seberapa :). tak pakai black berry atau iphone. cuma nokia 3.2 MP je :)


harini duk baca baca update rakan rakan
tengok tengok mostly dah update pasal habis exam dan sebagainya
sebagai contoh
syaza , fizah , fifi, and lisa

to start off this entry, marilah sama sama kita menyedekahkan Al-Fatihah kepada arwah maktok lisa yang telah meninggal pada 6 may 2011 yang lalu.
Semoga kamu dan keluarga be strong untuk menempuhi kehilangan yang tersayang, lisa.

meh nak cerita pasal exam dulu
but then, before cerita exam mesti nak cerita subjects and papers dulu kan
so, in the complicated world of medicine, ade 9 basic papers
that are

-regarding human parts of body, bukan mermaid seperti dalam gambar-

Human physiology is the science of the mechanical, physical, bioelectrical, and biochemical functions of humans in good health, their organs, and the cells of which they are composed. Physiology focuses principally at the level of organs and systems
(terima kasih http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page for the meaning)
basically how human works lah, senang cerita

all the chemical reactions yang berlaku dalam badan manusia. subjek paling disukai *tangan di bahu, mata pandang ke atas* sebab ianya sangat complicated and banyak sangat perkara yang kena ingat.

Molecular Medicine
Segala macam tentang DNA, from how it is made until how to check them. tapi don't ask me questions on this one. too hard to imagine all the processes.

These 3 yang kat atas are the ones yang basic lah. its all about normal stuffs. tak belajar penyakit lagi. and majority of stuffs belajar masa time year 1. kalau tak kenal badan time normal, macam mane nak see the abnormalities kan? Next will be more towards abnormalities.

no, its not the 2008 movie. its all about diseases. tulang belakang of all these diseases will be definition, cause & pathogenesis of the disease, risk factors, signs and symptoms , morphology (gross and microscopy) also complications.
Tak susah kalau faham normal, tapi sebab banyak penyakit yang manusia dah discover, therefore banyaklah penyakit yang perlu dihafal.

segala gala tentang microorganisms, mainly virus, bacteria and fungi. dari what it is to what disease does it cause to the clinical features and the ubat ubatan.
Tapi mostly kitorang belajar medically important microorganism.

As the name implies , mestilah berkenaan parasites kan? tapi again, medically important parasites such as Necator Americanus,or cacing kerawit, i think.

Last but not least
Hal ubat ubatan. Tapi tak belajar as detail as pharmacy students did. *Alhamdulillah*
There are WAYYYY too much of ubat ubatan that is NEED to know. Macam the adverse effect semua penting untuk bakal bakal doctor*insyaALLAH* to know, sebab kadang kadang patient comes dengan symptoms kesan ubat yang ditelan bukan sebab dia sakit or anything.

Tapi, being a doctor, dekan kitorang macam "takkanlah nak bagi students belajar sikit sangat?"
 *suka hati bagi dialog dekan..lalala*
So kitorang ada belajar 2 lagi subjek that are

PHPM or public health and preventive measure
subjek ini adalah penting kerana dia lebih menekankan aspek epidemiology and statistics.
So, dalam nilah belajar SPSS , how to control outbreak, epidemic diseases


PPD or personal and professional development(i think)
tak lain tak bukan, subjek ini diwujudkan untuk membentuk bakal bakal doktor yang bagus dan efficient pada masa hadapan*InsyaALLAH*

so that are the subjects i've taken in the past 2 years. And to make it more interesting, batch kitorang is the first batch with integrated systems.Tak faham? nak explainlah ni.

Dulu: Year One belajar normal. then exam Pro 1, which consist of semua soalan dari Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry yang belajar setahun. Year 2, belajar abnormals, subject subject dari Pathology to Microbiology to Parasitology dan Pharmacology will be teached. and end of the year, ada Pro 2 exam. And all these subjects dibahagikan kepada 10 modules, General, Musculoskeletal, Hemopoietic & Lymphoid, Endocrine, Cardiovascular, Respiratory, Gastrointestinal, Urinary, Central Nervous System and Reproduction.Confuse enough? Basically in respiratory module, kitorang belajar everything about respiratory, from anatomy to the drugs to treat respiratory problems.

BATCH KITORANG: Tetap 10 modules, tapi difference dia would be SEMUA subject(normal and abnormals) diajar pada kedua dua tahun dalan respective modules. and at the end of year 2, ada exam PROFESSIONAL 1, dimana para pelajar diuji tentang apa yang dipelajari dalam tempoh 2 tahun.
Jangan salah anggap kitorang ada satu exam je pulak sepanjang 2 tahun. Tiap tiap semester pun ade exam jugak.Macam SPM dah haa..tapi because it is integrated, it is said to better for students to correlate normal and abnormal conditions. betul jugak tu. :)

So, haritu pada 3-6 May , berlangsunglah exam Professional 1 untuk 7th batch of MBBS UiTM. ada 6 paper, SAQ(short-answered questions), PBQ(problem based questions, dia bagi scene then ade soalan soalan berkenaan dengan scene tersebut dari each subject), OSPE&OSCE (objective structured practical/clinical Examination- ni macam main main..sebab pindah pindah station and jawab soalan 4 minit, pastu Ding! pastu pindah station and jawab and it goes on and on sampai habis) , MCQ( Multiple choice question- ade lima pernyataan kecil under satu pernyataan, jawab true/ false je, cuma kalau betul jawapan dapat 1 markah, tak betul, tolak 0.5 markah. kenapa macam tu? sebab as doctors in future*insyaALLAH*, tak boleh buat keputusan salah, then you'll lose something.practicelah kiranya) and also EMJ( Ethics and medical juriprudence- of course untuk membentuk insan berkualiti, ethics tu perlu disemaikan dalam diri)
Kenapa ada 6 paper? sebab this time around, MCQ ade 2 paper. MCQ 1-semester 1,2,3. MCQ 2- semester 4.

Yang membuatkan kitorang kena prepare every subjects before 3 hb tu is BECAUSE semua paper paper tersebut ada soalan from semua subjek yang kitorang dah cover for the past 2 years. haru ke tak? :'(

Tapi Alhamdulillah, dah selesai. All the tak cukup tidur nights, the tense felt around kawan kawan seperjuangan, the perasaan nak marah marah and nak nanges sebab tak habes baca lagi and whatsoever stuffs ends with EMJ paper pukul 10 pagi, 6 may :) woohoooo! lega gila. walaupun tak tahu boleh lulus ke tak*doakanlah saya lulus.Amin.* , results tahu next week (yikes!). tapi a part of me dah lega sangat sangat cause the BIG exam kitorang ternanti nanti and gelabah about for the whole year(walaupun tak study study :p) dah pun selesai.

p/s: too long. cerita lepas exam, next entry :)


happily ever after is always just a dream

it is entirely my fault
i am sorry
i am not patient enough to wait
i faced difficulties then i ran away
i am not strong enough
take care and goodbye