lessons through out my life

"When we honestly ask ourselves, which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions and cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wound with a warm and tender hand" - Henri Nouwen

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not healing, not curing.. that is a person who cares" - Henri Nouwen

"Never explain- your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway" - Elbert Hubbard

"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defend courageously and continues a friend unchangeably" - William Penn

this post is for those who knew who they are

Dear Friends,
I never can say how glad I am to meet each and every one of you
You mean so much to me, although you may think otherwise.

There is a lot of friends out there,
It is until you lost your sense of humor,
you are broke and unable to throw them a proper birthday party,
you have premenstrual syndrome and been glaring at every words they said,
you suddenly cried for no reason,
you lost your ability to provide them with comforting words
you have better friends and thought you did not need them anymore

That is when you realize
Your TRUE friends
laugh at all your stupid lame jokes
say it is okay to have a birthday party at somewhere lame and do not ask for a birthday gift 
stay and make stupid comments to make you smile
be on the same bed when you cried but say nothing at all, better yet, they hug you without a motive to dig juicy gossip of why you are crying :p
they still pour their problems to you because they trust you that much
will be there to answer your calls, and to laugh with you even though the last time you talked to them is ages ago

This is the kind of friends I want, to stay in my life
to be the mak and ayah angkat to my kids :p
to be bridesmaids on my wedding

I am never warm to everyone
I am never good in that thing
I can pass kalau setakat first 2 minutes of talking to an acquaintance but make me stay for an hour
I lost words to say
I am never good in saying hi in a lift
even though dalam twitter, dalam facebook semua macam tegur je everyone
It is just me.
but my friends are idiots enough to stay by me. (sorry friends)
but to them, I promise, I will try to be the best of best friends ;p

Signing off.


I'll be missing this

The rush. Exhilirating moments. The endless motivations. The sincerity of the lecturers. The kindness of the staffs despite the busy schedule in emergency department.


Quick Post

I promise myself to update this empty space in nearest time

JB trip
Health carnival
Kakak's birthday

till we meet again, insyaALLAH 


Facebook status

I am not a status updater every day, let alone every hour
I actually google to update my status
I always google for beautiful quote, life quotes
Today, I decided to google "Life Philosophies"
and I found this 

The Truth


It is nearly end of Ramadhan
and I can't really say I am a better person than pre-Ramadhan
Let's hope for the best of the other months , 
so that if I meet Ramadhan next year(Insya-Allah), I am then a better person than today

The reason to write today is,
someone brought up something from the past
a beautiful hello but a hurtful goodbye
at the same time
a friend of mine, asked my opinion about something similar to what I've experienced
not exactly the same
but somewhere in the line

Here's what I said to my friend, as an advice
"It is better to know now than to know in the future.
It does not mean she stopped caring for you.
It hurts to see someone you cared about ,crumpled and crushed, because of you
The easy way is to ignore, to stop looking at things as if you can fix anything
You have done more damages than you can imagine
Therefore, you took the easiest way out,
to stop
stop caring, stop searching, stop consoling
and just pray that his heart will be healed
and he will smile again like he used to"

It is like a myocardial infarction, you may be feeling well, you have no chest pain, no complaints
but the macroscopy of your heart will show the signs of fibrosis
which will leads to the information that you've had infarction, recently

I don't feel like I need to give an explanation on why things turned out to be the way they are today
It is just when things crossed my mind
and I thought I am strong enough
I'm just not.

p/s: I never expect things will be better if I choose any other way.


in mood for baking


I love pavlova, so much.
so, one day, i thought, why don't i try baking it?

It is simple enough, says the website, of course.
But then i have no fresh fruits or whipped cream
so, i just try to do the meringue
because if it turns out bad, at least, i will not waste my whipped cream

the meringue

it turned out okay
it is crispy at the outside and marshmallow-like on the inside
I made 2 quite big ones
and my siblings finished it at night
BUT, there's 2 things I dislike - TOO SWEET! and i can taste the WHITE EGG
macam hanyir telur tu still ade sikit2

I asked mama, how to get rid of the uneasy smell of egg white
and mama told me to use lemon juice
so, this time, in preparing the meringue
I put in a bit of lemon juice
I reduce the amount of sugar
*in fear of diabetes :p*
 and this time i have whipped cream and fresh fruits
I also make it in small sizes as i know my family do not take sugar that much 
and I think it will turn to be more crunchier 
so, voila!



I must have done something right
For me to get this unexpected results
Thank You, Allah


Mood Cuti


this week keluar result
*bunyi cengkerik*

sekarang mood holiday
mencari ketenangan
menjiwai peranan

malas nak tulis panjang panjang
katil gua dah sahut sahut nama gua
*awkward bahasakan diri gua*

Selamat Malam Kamu :)


Final Exam Year 3


I am so relieved, I have ended my final year 3 examination

I wish I can say that
but I have another long case examination this Thursday
I have finished all my written exams so I am already overjoyed

This semester, I have to take 3 postings' written papers
Medicine, Surgery and Pediatrics
Imagine having to read these, during weekend (since we don't have study week)

okay, another exaggeration
I never succeed in reading all the books
But yeah, it was a tough weekend
i don't even go back to Bangi
*my first time in this semester!*
It was a sleep-deprived weekend
and sometimes we just go euphoric because that's how we are

and today, I was so relieved when Prof . Abdur Rashid announced the end of our MEQ exam
I was already imagining my bed and pillow
but instead, I arrived at my room, and drank starbucks
Congratulations, Syazmin!
There goes your sleep

Comments on how i did my exam?

i hope not THAT bad.

until then.
love. :)


Page 3 of 56


Page 2 tak dapat dilaksanakan atas sebab sebab tertentu *cakap jelah tak sempat*

Regarding yesterday.. we have a bedside teaching with cool doctor

Case : 20 year old gentleman with generalised edema over the body and tea coloured urine for the past 1 month.

The most common cause would be kidneys problem as it causes edema and also interfere with the urine, causing him to have tea-coloured urine.

After discussion, we think it is nephrotic syndrome. Nephrotic syndrome is actually a triad of proteinuria (>3g/24hr), hypoalbuminemia (<25g/L) and also oedema. severe hyperlipidemia (total cholesterol >10mmol?L) also commonly present.

I have read up about it yesterday, but lets just assume my brain is not yet good enough. I'll read it up again tonight. InsyaAllah.

Today, we have a bedside with inspiring doctor, which is the same one as on the first day.. She asked about the questions on COPD, the ones she had asked us to read on the first day. She asked me on " what is the pathophysiology of emphysema?" but I was tongue-tied. I cannot answer even though I had read on it. So , I guess another homework, to read on COPD.

Case: 60 year old gentleman with central chest pain.

So, today's bedside was on cardiovascular system. I understand but I have to improve more. So, there goes my night.

To do list
1. Nephrotic Syndrome
2. COPD (!!!)
3. Acute Coronary Syndrome (30% of us will get this case in our long case, yikes!)


Page 1 of 56

Medicine Posting Day 1
A great introduction by the coordinator. My first time with new group members, some new faces *not so new, i should say* Just hoping for the best out of the group. First bedside of the posting. WHOA! Feels like lacking so much.

Tonight's to do list : read up on COPD and Bronchial Asthma, at the very least.
Mood : Am extremely tired.

Fajita Trio

picture taken from google :)

Why Fajita Trio? besides that it is my favorite Chili's menu. 
Look at the all in one combo - meat, chicken and even prawns
That's how this post will be - a mixture of all my posting

why did i took so long to type it all out? well, i am in my medicine posting currently, and i thought of doing this "page 1 of 56 in medicine" until we're done with third year. you know, so that, it can be something to look back to in future, and to help the future medical students see what they are going to deal with so that they can take back their decision to be a doctor *evil laugh*  (okay tipu, alasan sebenar: so that i can have a reason to stay in front of my laptop more than i should *wink*). Tapi if that so, macam tak fair untuk my previous postings, so i am going to scribble a bit for each posting. Feel free to read, feel free to exit. Ngeh.

  1. Rural & Urban Health Posting - My first posting. So excited to enter clinical years and too energetic. It consists of 8 weeks of lectures, field visit, and seminars. The easy part is going to field visit. Such an experience to explore things out of our line. We went to Teluk Intan, lepak menara condong. What an experience. :) The hardest part is doing reports based on all the field visits and presenting them. Haha. Ada satu time tu where kitorang stay up sampai sahur secara berjemaah. SPSS punya pasal. :)      Best part : Cameron Highlands. 
  2. Obs&Gynae Posting - Well, as the name suggest, tengok orang beranak, masa ni baru pandai clerk sikit sikit, and to see newborn babies. Easy part : no, nothing's easy. Hardest part : sebab macam baru masuk first clinical posting, macam merangkak slow slow belajar how to be a clinical student. and the part where tengok seorang ibu melahirkan anaknya :') too many emotional moments. Best part: newborn babies :)
  3. Paediatrics Posting - Hurm. I have a crush on one of the doctors. hehe. :) Paediatrics is basically medicine, for children. Easy part : Waking up in the morning knowing you will see more cute little children. :) Hardest part: To end this posting. :') Best part: *malunakcakap*
  4. Surgery Posting - Membedah orang. okay tak, tipu. basically here, covered most of it are hernias, upper gi bleed, lower gi bleed, breast ca. Things that need a surgery. Interesting posting. Easy part: the timetable is the best! ngehehe. Hardest part: well, every surgeon has their own particularity in presenting the case, so to fit into everyone's preferences is kind of hard. Best part: surgeons are cool
And it leads to today where my first day of medicine started. Wish me well people :)


Cita cita

Honda New Insight 

Impian masa hadapan, nak beli satu hybrid car. somehow, my eyes always drawn to it. :D

and now i'm writing


Few Updates.

  1. Saya dah dalam posting keempat, end of it, khamis long case exam, mohon doa restu dari rakan rakan.
  2. Lagi approx 8 minggu nak final for 3 posting. How time flies.
  3. I have an addiction untuk procrastinate dengan google gambar2 kawen sambil berangan nak kawen, baju warna apa semua, dah ade choices dalam otak. 
  4. I have bought lots of tudung bawal kosong and baju kurung.
  5. Respond badan saya kepada cafeine masih tak berubah. *menjangkakan tidak tidur malam ini*

notakaki: entry ini ditulis semasa sedang berusaha membuang masa sebab kepala dah lalok tapi tak boleh tido. Sekian , terima kasih.

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